Let Go to Let Life In

I’ve always believed what you hold on to can tell you something about what you fear losing. For years, I mistook accumulation for growth. I always said yes to more work, more commitments, more belongings, thinking they would prove my worth or fill the space where uncertainty lived. But all that “more” just made seeing myself clearly difficult.

Over the years, I’ve learned that letting go is discernment rather than deprivation. You’re making a conscious choice about what deserves a place in your life and what doesn’t. When you unburden yourself of what no longer aligns with who you are, you make room for what does. I don’t just mean cleansing yourself of the emotional and mental clutter keeping you bound to the past. Clearing a path forward is also about releasing physical items from your past. 

Your clutter is blocking your view

For the last few years, every time I stood in front of my closet looking at clothes I had thoughtfully purchased and worn to events I remembered fondly, I would think, “I don’t have the right dress for this occasion” or “I don’t have the right outfit for this speaking engagement.” When I finally forced myself to try on the clothing I was subconsciously avoiding, I realized most of it didn’t fit anymore. Five years ago, I began a fitness and weight loss journey that’s changed more than just my body. I feel leaner, lighter, and stronger than ever, and I realized those clothes didn’t just stop fitting. They belonged to someone I’ve outgrown.

I found I was holding onto a closet full of clothes I loved but didn't represent who I am now. I realized I was protecting myself just in case something changed. Parting with my old wardrobe meant leaving my old self behind and fully accepting my present self. I don’t have to be afraid, knowing that this is my new normal.

When I started purging what I’d held on to, I was able to see my future options. I could dress for the life I have, not the one I’ve outgrown. The same applies beyond the closet, whether that’s your career, relationships, or stories. If you don’t clear the way, you can’t see where you’re going. You can’t even imagine what’s next, because you’re still staring at a map drawn for someone you no longer are.

You can’t receive what you haven’t made room for

When you’re just going along to get along, your life isn’t really yours. You’re not actively living the way you want to. As long as your head is down and you're on autopilot, you'll never have the space you need to choose your future. People love to say they want more: more peace, more freedom, more clarity, more options, but they forget that wanting is only half the equation. The other half is making room for those things to arrive. 

For me, making that space included other changes as well. I had to stop working in places that drained me and saying yes to engagements that looked good on paper but left me feeling hollow. That meant saying no to some opportunities, letting go of those possibilities, and accepting the consequences. Sometimes, the scariest part isn’t the letting go. It’s the moment you sit with what's left and realize the next step is yours alone to choose.

That’s when it gets real, but also when it gets good.

How you let go is up to you

Once you make the decision to change, you might have an impulse to purge in one clean break, to dedicate an entire weekend to throwing what you kept from the past phases of your life into a trash bag. Love letters, photos, mementos, all gone in one moment. While there’s beauty in that kind of boldness, you run the risk of getting rid of something you aren't ready for.

How much time you take is up to you. You can sort through what you’ve saved piece by piece, honoring who you used to be. Letting go of the memorabilia I’d collected over the years came easily, but I lingered over the pictures, cards, and letters that held memories of the different chapters of my journey. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. What matters is the intention behind your choices. The question isn’t just “Can I let this go?” but “Does this still belong to the life I want to live?”

Now is the time

You can’t force yourself to take these steps; they have to come naturally. There's a sense of commitment and intention that comes from that readiness. Living a life that fits who you are today, not who you were twenty years ago or even last year, requires honesty and courage. Moving forward isn’t possible when you’re still tethered to a version of yourself you’ve outgrown. It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it.