Community: Our Antidote to the Loneliness Epidemic

For nearly a century, television has done a great job of teaching us where to find community. Central Perk, Cheers’ namesake bar, or the bustling café scenes in Sex and the City, these places are memorable not because of the food and drink, but because of the moments the characters shared there.

The examples of community are a huge part of the legacy these shows have left behind—a reminder of the way you used to live, and still could, if you cared to. A sense of community is what you want when you need support and comfort amid chaos.

A deep need for belonging

There’s a noticeable, growing desire to find your people and build a circle for support and understanding. Forming relationships with others is a coping mechanism that allows you to connect with people who feel and think the same way you do.

As physician Dean Ornish said, “The need for connection and community is primal, as fundamental as the need for air, water, and food.” That insight rings truer now than ever.

Until about 10 years ago, Americans consistently spent about 6.5 hours a week with friends. But between 2014 and 2019, that number dropped by 37%—to just four hours. Not surprisingly, the pandemic amplified this trend, pushing the rate even lower.

Today, researchers estimate that people spend less than three hours per week with friends. Social media, on-demand entertainment, remote work, and public health concerns have all eroded what used to be social time. Even though COVID-19 no longer impacts daily life, those lost hours of social time haven’t fully returned.

Finding your third place

Despite the downward trend, opportunities for connection haven’t disappeared. In fact, many are rediscovering what sociologist Ray Oldenburg called “third places” in his 1999 book, The Great Good Place.

Third places are community anchors—neutral spaces outside home and work where people gather, socialize, and interact. Think cafes, parks, libraries, and community centers. These places are neutral ground, open to all, free from status pressures, and encourage lighthearted conversation. Unfortunately, post-COVID trends and lifestyle shifts have made it more challenging to find these places.

Starbucks is a cautionary tale in third places. In the last five years, the coffee giant streamlined mobile orders, reduced indoor seating, and phased out reusable dishware—all decisions that, while efficient, distanced the brand from its former, and some might argue more important, role as a community hub.

These changes didn’t go unnoticed. Before his passing in 2022, Oldenburg co-authored an essay critiquing how coffee shops like Starbucks undermined their potential as third places by prioritizing mobile users over in-person community seekers.

A new wave of connection

Now, Starbucks is reversing some of those changes by bringing back ceramic mugs, reintroducing condiment bars, and reimagining store layouts to be more inviting. They’ve even returned to handwritten messages on cups—a small gesture that signals a shift back toward personal connection.

Big chains like Starbucks aren’t alone in these decisions. Some independent coffee shops are experimenting with eliminating Wi-Fi and hosting more community events to encourage face-to-face interaction over screen time.

This movement toward reconnection isn’t limited to cafés. Across the country, arts and crafts collectives, book clubs, community kitchens, and local meetups are creating safe spaces for people to gather around shared interests.

A commitment to community

When you find a group that shares your values and passions, something special happens. You can feel seen, understood, and anchored. That sense of safety becomes a foundation for authentic, lasting relationships. Spending time with others who share your interests and values can make you feel safe, and there’s comfort in safety.

This isn’t just a warm feeling. Community also requires commitment. You get back what you put in. Time is a limited resource, but when you dedicate even a small portion of it to creating meaningful connections, the return, increasing your joy, enhancing your perspective, and improving your emotional well-being, is exponential.

In a time when loneliness is often described as an epidemic, seeking out third places and building real-world connections is more important than ever. You may not be able to replicate the exact charm of a sitcom café, but you can capture the spirit of belonging that those spaces represent.

Community is still out there. You just have to find it and be willing to invest in it. Because in the end, the relationships we build help us weather the storms of life and celebrate its brightest moments.