You’ve Done This Before

There are moments when something happens that feels completely outside anything you’ve experienced before. When COVID hit, there was no familiar frame of reference. The fear and uncertainty were difficult to escape, and there were no clear answers about how to navigate what was happening or how long it would last.

For business owners, that uncertainty came with another layer of pressure. I’ve been an entrepreneur since 1997, and I’d already lived through economic downturns, including the dot-com crash just a few years after I launched my first company. A pandemic was different, but making decisions through economic uncertainty wasn’t entirely new to me. I drew on experiences that had required me not to freeze but to dig deep and find a way.

In turn, what I learned during COVID is part of my knowledge base. Now, as another period of instability challenges decision-making, those lessons are there for me to draw from. Facing the unfamiliar doesn’t erase the judgment you’ve developed over years of working through difficult moments.

You’re not starting from zero

Think about what happens when there’s a big swing in the stock market. While it’s always uncomfortable and markets are hardly ever predictable, I remind myself that fluctuations are natural and that periods of volatility aren’t the time to act emotionally or defensively. The same idea applies to relationships. Every breakup hurts, and each one can feel distinct from the last. But with some distance, you also remember that you’ve survived heartbreak before. The circumstances may change, but what you’ve already learned still matters.

The situations you’re facing aren’t always entirely new. They’re just different. When you dismiss what you’ve already lived through because it doesn’t perfectly match what’s happening now, you strip those prior experiences of their value. Suddenly you’re a fish out of water every time the details change.

Authenticity means trusting yourself

This perspective can affect your approach to negotiations. You’ve been negotiating throughout your life, even if you haven’t always recognized those moments as negotiations. When you don’t give yourself credit for those experiences, you lose sight of everything they’ve already taught you.

Doubting what you’ve learned means underestimating your own ability. That doubt can make it tempting to fall back on cliché ideas about how a negotiator is supposed to behave. Before long, you’re performing rather than being present. You’re paying more attention to whether you’re doing it “right” than to what’s actually happening in front of you.

Authenticity asks you to put more weight on what you bring into the room. You can depend on your preparation and knowledge while also trusting the judgment you’ve developed throughout your life. You’re betting on yourself. This doesn’t mean assuming you have every answer. It means recognizing that your own history can inform what you decide to do next. You’ve done this before.

That makes it easier to stay present when the stakes rise. Rather than following a script someone else wrote, you’re making choices based on what the moment requires. The point isn’t to perform a version of a negotiator. It’s to negotiate as yourself.

Trust your experience

Experience only becomes useful if you’re willing to learn from it. But this isn’t a feel-good exercise where you have to convince yourself every painful moment in your life happened for a reason. Sometimes you make the wrong decision, or a negotiation simply doesn’t go the way you wanted it to. The wisdom you gain is what matters.

Even a bad outcome can leave you with something worth learning. The hurt is still real, but over time, a loss can evolve into more than just a loss. It can become a lesson. What was once a setback is now a reference point for future experiences.

That’s why there’s an advantage to failing early. Failure gives you the chance to recognize patterns and notice warning signs you missed before. You build resilience and knowledge as you figure out what you would do differently the next time. Those lessons are a breeding ground for success, but only if you value them.

The next time you’re in unfamiliar territory, you can choose to fear the unknown and believe you don’t know what to do. Or you can remember that you’re not starting from zero. You’ve done this before.