What Makes a Complete Life?

I’ve always thought of myself as someone who’s perfectly fine on my own. I’m an introvert, and I’ve learned over the years that I need time alone to restore my energy after spending long stretches around other people. I’m also fiercely independent, and I’m happy to travel, go to dinner, or see a movie without having to wait for someone to join me. That has given me a tremendous amount of freedom, and I like that about myself.

Lately, I’ve noticed that being on my own doesn’t feel the way it used to. As I shared with my newsletter subscribers last month, the moments I spend with people I feel close to have taken on more significance for me. I’m more aware of the absence of that kind of connection, especially when I wish someone I care about was around.

That’s different for me. I’m still completely comfortable being by myself, and I value that. What’s changed is that I miss people in a way I didn’t before. While I don’t necessarily need others, I do want them around.

The companionship I’m looking for

That desire for more connection doesn’t mean I’m wishing for another mixer on my calendar or a reception full of people I barely know. I can always accept more invitations, attend more events, or put myself in more crowded rooms. I’m looking for more meaningful connection. Since I started teaching, I’ve experienced that through my work, and it gives me a deep sense of satisfaction. I love being with my students and having an impact on their lives and careers.

My relationships with students are genuine, but they have a clear structure. My role is to share what I know and to guide, challenge, and support them. As fulfilling as that is, I also want relationships where I can be present without feeling responsible for the interaction. That might mean a deep conversation and giving each other our full attention. But it might also mean going out for a quiet walk with someone, inviting a friend over for a movie night, or simply having someone I care about nearby. Having the choice is what matters to me. I take time by myself when I need it, but I don’t want being alone to be my only option.

A more complete life

I’m thinking more intentionally about my life as a whole. For years, I’ve led with my career, and those ambitions remain important to me. I have plenty left to accomplish, and I’m nowhere near finished with the work that excites me. But I don’t want my professional success to be the only measure of a life well lived. I want a more complete life.

Maybe getting older has something to do with that, or perhaps I finally have the space to notice what was easier to overlook before. My needs and priorities have changed, and part of being self-aware is acknowledging that instead of continuing in the same direction simply because it’s familiar.

Letting yourself evolve

The qualities that have served me for years are still part of who I am. But there’s freedom in recognizing that what served me in the past may not be what I need in the future. I can be open to something different without seeing it as a rejection of who I’ve been. I’m still me. I’m just allowing myself to change.